Is Lil Wayne the mafia of the music world?
I was listening to my XM Radio the other day and five straight songs came on that were either by Lil Wayne or had Lil Wayne in them. The dude is in everything! I think a studio experience might go a little something like this these days.
Producer: Alright, that's a wrap!
Blonde McLegs: Like, what? I thought we were doing pop music, like, and so on, the Iraq.
P: Uh...I think you misunderstood me. That's a wrap. W-R-A-P. Not R-A-P.
BMcL: OMG, how stupid am I? Hahaha.
P: (mumbles) Pretty stupid. Anyways, we got the single and we'll get it all mixed and out....
(Suddenly the door is kicked open! Producer struggles to figure out who the shadowed figure is standing in the doorway. All he can see is a lot of space between the top of the figure's head and the top of the door, and some braids.)
P: Lil...Lil Wayne? Is...is that you?
LW: What the hell are you doing, Producer?
P: Just wrapping up...
BMcL: Wait, what? I thought you said it wasn't rap?
P: Shut up, Blonde McLegs! Sorry Mr. Lil Wayne. We were just getting ready to mix her single, that's all.
LW: And?
P: And...?
LW: And?
P: And...we were going to call you to come lay down some rhymes for us, Mr. Lil Wayne. See? See, I was just about to call you on my phone! (mumbling as he looks around) Where the hell is my phone?
LW: Man, how many times I got to tell you? Nothing gets released in this town without me! Or do you need to be reminded?
P: Oh..Oh, no s-sir. I still got your last reminder right here. (He points to his hand, where written in pen is "Lil Wayne has to be on everything".)
LW: That's what I thought. Now start recording while I bust this out. What's the song about?
P: It's about growing up in Canada.
LW: I can relate to that. I know a guy with a condo, somewhere up in Toronto. Alright, here we go. Play the instrumentals.
(taps his feet and nods his head as he picks up the beat)
LW: Lil Wayne...hehehe...with a candy cane...hehehe...
chillin' on the frozen plains...going to hockey games.
But I got a shorty to keep me warm,
when I head up north of the bor-
der, it's a new world order...hehehe...
with lots of beer and frozen warter.
Catch me in a pair of skates,
lacing up with Blonde McLegs,
and Labatts Blue from the kegs...hehehe...
they put the emphasis on a different consonant,
but we all on the some continent.
I was like, what's this all aboot, eh?
So I came up from the states,
now see, shorty want me to stay,
Sorry Canuck, I'm Lil Wayne...hehehe
Alright! Cut the music. Play it between the second and third stanza and again at the end. Now we got a single.
P: Y-yes, Mr. Lil Wayne. Th-thank you for coming.
LW: Your welcome for the guaranteed hit. I'll be by later for my cash.
LW and Producer do a handshake and the one-armed hug thing.
And that's how Lil Wayne is on every single song right now.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
An Economic Argument Against Laziness
I'm lazy.
Lazy enough that if I was asked to say "I am lazy", I'd agree and then conjugate the words into the opening sentence of this blog. I'm lazy enough to not look up the meaning of conjugate to see if it is indeed the right word to use in that previous sentence, despite the fact this blog is going out for the tens of people to see. I'm lazy enough to let spell check do all my work for my, even though the word might be spelled correctly but not used correctly.
But I think I might have to change that.
Damn economy.
Late fees always seem to be a pain in the butt when it comes to trying to save money. Sometimes the late fee comes because I actually couldn't afford to pay the bill right away, but for the most part it's out of sheer laziness. I let the bill sit around or it gets stuck in the "I'll look at that later" pile that really never gets looked at until a month later.
It's usually around that time I realize I've now ordered my CD of the month, DVD of the month, Time-Life's latest picture book, and have let the car insurance lapse. All because of my refusal to go through the mail.
That is why I have a CD collection featuring the second album's from such one album wonders as Arrested Development and SpaceHog to go with David Hasselhoff's Greatest Hits-the Knight Rider Years. That's why my DVD collection features such crappy movies as Autumn in New York, Never Ending Story II, and Finding Nemo. That's why books like Making Nails, Egypt's Least Interesting Tombs, and The Paris Hilton Story are taking up space on my bookshelf. And that's why I have a court date next month to prove I'm not some degenerate non-insurance-having driver.
How about the time I kept paying $100 a month for a gym membership I never used because I was too lazy to fill out the paperwork to end my membership? Or the thousands of dollars I've given to libraries for my staunch refusal to get off my butt and give them their book back? Or the times I've had to order out for food because I didn't have one single clean dish in the house?Yep, it's all money that I can't afford to lose but that I continue to give out because it's one less thing I'll have to do today.
So I've decided that I am going to stop being lazy and get my act together! No more late fees! Mail will be sorted and dealt with that day! I will make it to the bank! I will not sleep in that extra 10 minutes and I will make myself a lunch! I will....wait a minute...
The economy is stimulated by spending.
Well what do you know! I've been doing my part to keep this country afloat! Now it's your turn to help. Let those reply cards sit around! Let the milk spoil because you didn't want to put it away as soon as you poured it into your cereal and then you forgot you left it out. Let your lover or roommate go to the hospital because the pile of recycling fell over on them and broke their ankle.
No one else is spending money on purpose, so this "accidental" spending is our only shot of keeping our heads above water. So sit down and don't do a thing. Laziness is going to save this country.
Lazy enough that if I was asked to say "I am lazy", I'd agree and then conjugate the words into the opening sentence of this blog. I'm lazy enough to not look up the meaning of conjugate to see if it is indeed the right word to use in that previous sentence, despite the fact this blog is going out for the tens of people to see. I'm lazy enough to let spell check do all my work for my, even though the word might be spelled correctly but not used correctly.
But I think I might have to change that.
Damn economy.
Late fees always seem to be a pain in the butt when it comes to trying to save money. Sometimes the late fee comes because I actually couldn't afford to pay the bill right away, but for the most part it's out of sheer laziness. I let the bill sit around or it gets stuck in the "I'll look at that later" pile that really never gets looked at until a month later.
It's usually around that time I realize I've now ordered my CD of the month, DVD of the month, Time-Life's latest picture book, and have let the car insurance lapse. All because of my refusal to go through the mail.
That is why I have a CD collection featuring the second album's from such one album wonders as Arrested Development and SpaceHog to go with David Hasselhoff's Greatest Hits-the Knight Rider Years. That's why my DVD collection features such crappy movies as Autumn in New York, Never Ending Story II, and Finding Nemo. That's why books like Making Nails, Egypt's Least Interesting Tombs, and The Paris Hilton Story are taking up space on my bookshelf. And that's why I have a court date next month to prove I'm not some degenerate non-insurance-having driver.
How about the time I kept paying $100 a month for a gym membership I never used because I was too lazy to fill out the paperwork to end my membership? Or the thousands of dollars I've given to libraries for my staunch refusal to get off my butt and give them their book back? Or the times I've had to order out for food because I didn't have one single clean dish in the house?Yep, it's all money that I can't afford to lose but that I continue to give out because it's one less thing I'll have to do today.
So I've decided that I am going to stop being lazy and get my act together! No more late fees! Mail will be sorted and dealt with that day! I will make it to the bank! I will not sleep in that extra 10 minutes and I will make myself a lunch! I will....wait a minute...
The economy is stimulated by spending.
Well what do you know! I've been doing my part to keep this country afloat! Now it's your turn to help. Let those reply cards sit around! Let the milk spoil because you didn't want to put it away as soon as you poured it into your cereal and then you forgot you left it out. Let your lover or roommate go to the hospital because the pile of recycling fell over on them and broke their ankle.
No one else is spending money on purpose, so this "accidental" spending is our only shot of keeping our heads above water. So sit down and don't do a thing. Laziness is going to save this country.
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