Thursday, April 22, 2010

Desperation in Denver

There comes a time, seemingly, in every sit-com's life where the writers decide they've run out of ideas and decide to use a tired old theme. A once-cool character who has fallen out of favor decides he will get everyone to like him again if he can pull off some impossible scheme. So in order to win over his compatriots, friends, girl, etc. he will do (fill in the blank).

In Broncos Country, the blank is Tim Tebow.

An undeniable leader, incredible college quarterback, tenacious worker, and adopted son of Urban Meyer, Tebow has spent the off-season getting his throwing motion more attuned to the NFL's liking. Despite all these attributes, he was a questionable-pro prospect and viewed by many as a marginal second-round pick. But for Hoodie Jr., he's a first-rounder.

That's not to say Tebow can't someday be a good NFL quarterback. The afore mentioned attributes of the most beloved Gator in recent history are what made teams even consider him a player worth taking a chance on. However, you don't take those chances in the first round.

This move smacks of that tired old sit-com theme. Josh McDaniels has made a number of, uh, interesting moves in his first year and a half as the Broncos head coach. First, a franchise quarterback is traded away and later, the drama-laden season of Brandon Marshall ends with a trip to Miami to ply his punting skills with the Dolphins.

Jay Cutler's departure seemed to be justified by a strong media push to unveil Cutler's d-bagginess and by his mediocre year with the Chicago Bears. The suspension of Marshall early in the year looked to work when the receiver came back and excelled while the Broncos started the season 6-0. But Marshall was only a bottle of Diet Coke waiting for the Mentos to get dropped in and when it was, we found out he is still an uncontrollable reaction.

Oh, and the Broncos limped to a 2-8 finish and a spot on the couch for the playoffs.

So the questions that McDaniels seemed to have answered early in the season about his genius rose again. What better way to prove himself than to draft a kid with questionable NFL ability in the first round round and make him a great offensive player? Then, I ask you Broncos fans, what choice will we have other than to love him, idolize him, and regale his genius?

Let's say that Tebow does become a valuable member of the Broncos' offense as a quarterback. Can McDaniels' public admonishing of the people who doubted him be far behind? Is there any doubt he will walk to the podium at a press conference, make a statement about how dumb we all are for not seeing his incredible ability to be an NFL coach, and then stomp off with his hoodie waving victoriously in the wind?

Perhaps the writers of sit-coms continually go to this theme of wacky-schemes-for-love because it still makes people laugh. Unfortunately, this is the Denver Broncos, not some Thursday night show on NBC. Congratulations, Josh McDaniels. You have proven your lack of the very thing you are striving to show. Your genius.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Final Day(?) at the Dome

For some reason, nobody really wanted to cover the Twins' final regular season game at the Metrodome, so by default, here I am. It's a very odd feeling, saying goodbye to something that I never really liked. It's more like good riddance. I feel like I'm holding a funeral for credit card debt. Sure, I had some good memories because of it, but I'm better off without it and I'm not really sad to see it go.
One of the reasons why I don't like the dome is because it's a dome. I grew up outdoors, so to speak, when it came to football and baseball. With the limited months of being able to enjoy the outdoors all coming during the summer, it seems absolutely ludicrous that I would make an effort to go inside.
But it's multi-purpose setup is another reason why I'm glad to see it go. It's a jack of all trades, and a master of none. All the great stadiums have a personality that fits the sport they house and that is not something the Metrodome can claim.
It's because of the multi-purpose setup that I had a "thank goodness the Twins are almost done with this place" moment walking up. Here we are, one game left in the season, the Twins are tied for first place, and their playoff lives depending on what happens today- the last day as tenants, and all there is on the outside of the building is Vikings signage. The most important day of the season for the Twins isn't even acknowledged.
Anyway, I'm going to keep a running blog on the day, so keep checking back!
12:47 Central
Just returned from an adventurous trip around the concourses. They are not the place for impatient people, as it is akin to rush hour traffic in there. I chatted with a few people who all said the same thing; happy to see the dome go, but even happier the Twins are playing for something.
They are doing the introductions right now with both teams lining up along the baselines. There are very few empty seats even though the start time is over 20 minutes away. Everyone is on their feet, flash bulbs are popping, and they are ready for some baseball, even if it is indoors.
The Twins need a Detroit loss and a win over the Royals to claim the Central title outright. However, it looks like they will need to win in order to force a playoff. Detroit leads 3-0 over Chicago in the bottom of the third.
1:11 pm Central
Carl Pavano throws a first pitch strike as the crowd builds up in excitement through his windup. It is 52 degrees outside and 68 degrees inside the dome.
1:16 pm
Pavano sets the Royals down in order, thanks in part to a nice play at third by Matt Tolbert. It's obvious to me this crowd is here because of the playoff implications and saying goodbye to the Metrodome is secondary. The Tigers still lead in the top of the 5th, 3-0, so we'll see how long the atmosphere stays as a playoff one.
1:30 pm
End of the first inning. After Joe Mauer walked to put runners at first and second with one out, I couldn't help but think, "I bet the Twins wish Justin Morneau was coming up right now". Instead, it was Jason Kubel, and he blasted a three-run shot to right to give the Twins a 3-0 lead. One out later, Delmon Young (Delmon Young!) hit a solo homer. 4-0 Twins after one.
1:42 pm
Pavano gets into a little bit of trouble, but gets out of it. I'm reminded that Twins fans are pretty savvy even though they don't have a real baseball stadium. Denard Span catches a flyball for out number two and makes a strong throw home, causing the runner to stay at third. The crowd erupts. It is a great atmosphere right now.
1:57
Took an inning off in order to eat a press box hot dog and it was totally worth it. So far, the only disappointment about the press box experience is there were no Drumstick ice cream cones when I got here. It's been a tradition of mine to eat one right of the bat and now I'll have to wait 'till next year.
Another note on the Twins fans. They actually started cheering when Pavano had two strikes on somebody without being prompted. Rockies fans can take a cue from them.
Joe Mauer is hitting right now and every pitch includes thousands of flashes from cameras.
2:06
What a bottom of the third. Jason Kubel hit his second three-run homer and then the crowd noticed the White Sox had put up a run against the Tigers, making it 5-1 in the top of the eighth. The crowd started chanting "Let's go White Sox" and lo and behold, it was 5-3 Detroit. The crowd cheered so loudly that Jose Morales stepped out of the batter's box. 7-0 Twins after three and hope in Detroit.
2:21
More trouble for Pavano in the top of the fourth. Back to back doubles made it 7-1 and then Cabrera lost a pop up in the roof that fell for a hit (would it be a Metrodome finale without one of those?). But Pavano got two strikeouts to end the threat and now the Twins need some help in the top of the ninth in Detroit.
2:35
There will be no champagne today. The Twins didn't get the help they required from the White Sox in the top of the ninth as Detroit won 5-3. That means Minnesota needs to win to tie and force a play-in game on Tuesday. I was surprised by the lack of reaction from the crowd when the Tigers final was posted.
2:41
The decision to start Pavano on three days rest appears to be a good one. Through five innings of work, he's struck out 6 and allowed only one run on five hits. Twins look like they are going to force that one game playoff as they still lead 7-1, but the atmosphere feels a little deflated since there is no chance to win the division outright today.
2:58
The day is over for Pavano, and he got a nice round of applause when he was pulled out after giving up three runs in the sixth. He went 5 2/3 innings and struck out 7. This game has lost a lot of the energy it had earlier. The Twins can no longer clinch the title today and with a four run lead it feels like a playoff is an inevitability. So this isn't the final Metrodome game and the Twins aren't clinching a playoff berth today.
3:03
Maybe this isn't a done deal. Keppel just gave up back to back hits and was yanked. Mahay now in with two outs in the sixth as the Twins bullpen tries to make this interesting again.
3:12
The energy is back, thanks to the Royals loading the bases and bringing the tying run to the plate in the form of their number three hitter, Billy Butler. The Twins helped by using three pitchers to get one out. Jon Rauch struck out Butler looking to end the game and wake up the dome.
3:25
Twins got a run back with two outs when Denard Span scored from first on a Cabrera double. Now Brian Duensing, who was originally scheduled to start this game, is pitching for Minnesota.
3:34
Learned that Louie Anderson is from Minnesota after he helped sing "Take me out to the ballgame". Also, due to the crowded press box, they are out of hot pretzels. Man, they are just killing all my Twins rituals. I'm sitting in a different place, didn't get my Drumstick or pretzel...what's next? The Twins lose?
3:50
Twins add another run to make it 10-4 and the crowd celebrates by singing Journey's "Don't Stop Believin", which for some unknown reason has become the most played song in the entire world lately. The best part is when the lyric "Born and raised in South Detroit" came on, the entire crowd booed. They should do it for the rest of the song so maybe people will stop playing it.
4:00
It was Jesse Crain's turn to get into a little bit of trouble in the top of the 8th, but he eventually shut the door on the Royals and it's still 10-4 Twins going to the bottom of the inning. The attendance today is 51,155, the most since they got 51, 617 on opening day against the White Sox in 1993. The atmosphere is back to a relaxed feel, with fans enjoying the fact their team is comfortably ahead. I almost wish this game was closer so that there would be the same electricity in the air as the beginning of the game.
4:13
Orlando Cabrera doubled home Span again, which is good since he's had an interesting day fielding the baseball. He hasn't made an error but has missed a couple of makeable plays. The lightbulbs continued to go off when Joe Mauer came to the plate and for the second time today, chants of "MVP, MVP" went around the stadium. Michael Cuddyer hit a two run homerun, fitting since his hot bat is a big reason why the Twins are tied for first in the Central. Francisco Liriano is going to pitch the top of the ninth with the score 13-4 and a date with the Tigers on Tuesday all but certain.
4:19
With two outs, the crowd rose to their feet, waving their homer hankies and taking pictures. It's not going to be the final game at the Metrodome, but it was a fun one and the Twins won 13-4. Now it's off to the locker room so the final summary will come later!
4:45
I emerged from the Twins locker room and returned to the press box to find about three-quarters of the stadium still filled and watching the post game ceremony celebrating the Twins history in the Dome. While it wasn't the best place to play baseball, it was where the Twins played. People are more than happy to remember the good times and say good bye to an object that was ugly, impersonal, and uncomfortable, but the source of great memories, two World Series Championships, and at least one more game.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

R.I.P. Rich Bircumshaw

I've never had a friend die before.

I've had relatives pass away as well as people I knew in passing or was close to at one time, but never someone whom I had just seen two weeks ago.

That changed last night when Rich Bircumshaw passed away after suffering a stroke in the early hours of Wednesday morning.

The death of "the King" as he was known around the radio stations he worked for, was sudden, unexpected and knocked me off of my feet.

Rich, who absolutely hated being called Rick and was often, was one of the greatest guys I have ever met. Sure, he could be a real S.O.B. if he was pissed off at you, but if he cared about you at all, then he cared about you forever.

He had a fuse that could be lit by a passing breeze and a wit that was even quicker. Anybody who has met Rich, heard him on the radio, or attended a function hosted by him has smiled at least once because of something he said.

Whether it was hearing that Cecil Sapp was "a grown man, dog" as he scored a touchdown or he deemed someone "worth the climb", Rich always had a way with words that could leave you shaking your head while your lips creased into a grin. His voice was truly unique in its sound and the message it delivered.

Because of his work as the News Director at Clear Channel Northern Colorado and as the Voice of the CSU Rams, Rich was known and revered all over Ft. Collins, Greeley, and all points in between. He related to the big-timers just the same as the common man or woman, giving them respect if they deserved it and letting them know if they didn't.

For me, he was a mentor and an advocate.
He was a part of many memorable and funny lunches.
He was a part of many lunches that were nothing but blowing off steam.
He was a bevy of quotes.
He was a belly of laughs.
He was a true friend if you were lucky enough to call him that.

There is no doubt in my mind that Rich got up to Heaven and Peter read off the list of people as they walked in.
"Okay, next let's go to Rick Bircumshaw."
"Uh, it's Rich, Saint Pete."
"Oh, you're right, Rich."

Rich, you were awesome, man. You will always be missed and loved.

The world is worse off without you.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

East High Baseball Alums, Time to Step up Again!

Hey everybody,

It's always good to help out a fellow Angel. Below is the Denver Post article followed by a letter from a friend of the family on how to help. Thanks guys!


Squibbs staying upbeat while battling cancer
By Neil H. Devlin The Denver Post POSTED: 04/23/2009 12:30:00 AM MDT
Addison Squibbs and most everyone around him were convinced he had rolled over a baseball while trying to make a play; took a shot from one and didn't realize it; or simply bonked himself good while working out or going through the course of a normal day.
It had to be a big hematoma, in his right armpit and near a pectoral — not the Burkitt's lymphoma he was diagnosed with earlier this month But it's cancer. No one saw it coming for the East sophomore.
"You don't wish this on anyone," Angels coach Howard Karsh said. "I know 98 percent of the time if the kids are drinking or smoking. He doesn't. He works out all the time, watches his diet . . . then this happens."
The mass that attracted attention and drew various touchers (including me) to the odd lump on the 16-year-old's torso only got bigger this past month. It took a series of medical checks after Squibbs started experiencing pain all over his body to understand what was happening. "
"This just came on, I don't know, but I'm relieved that it was found," said Addison's mother, Regina Squibbs.
Now, though, is the hard part for the Angels' catcher-second baseman.
Burkitt's lymphoma is highly aggressive, affecting the B lymphocytes (B cells) and various body parts. It's treatable and often curable with intensive therapy, and reoccurrences are rare, but his life for the next several months will involve a series of chemotherapy cocktails via spinal injections, extended stays at Children's Hospital, a lack of energy and patience — something teenagers often don't have, particularly Squibbs, being away from his beloved baseball.
Squibbs had his first series of treatment earlier this month, and began another Tuesday, when he was too weak to do anything but keep his eyes open while laying in a hospital bed.
Monday, he managed to sneak out to East's nonleague victory, but he is missing the meat of the Angels' Denver Prep League schedule.
"He actually tried for a two-hour pass (to attend important city games this week against Thomas Jefferson and George Washington), but was told no," Regina Squibbs said.
So it was an apprehensive Squibbs who showed up Monday for team pictures. He felt good about putting on his uniform and joining teammates briefly in the dugout, but insisted on watching the game away from the field as well as fans.
"He didn't want anyone to see him and doesn't want a lot of attention brought to him," Regina said.
Typical teenager, one who also inquired about having a male nurse among all the females at Children's. But Addison, who displayed some pop in his bat earlier in the season, is aware of his backing.
A family friend has a salon that drew about 50 people for head-shavings that raised $500 to help combat cancer. There was the cutout of him that was hung in the dugout, the more than 100 pins with his name and photograph that quickly traveled through school. .
"Our kids are very supportive," Karsh said. "This is the first time for a lot of them, something like this. It's definitely a new experience. Our program has always been about more than baseball, but this has really hit home."
And home is where Squibbs draws most of his fight. As an infant, his younger brother, Landon, was medically sedated for two and a half months with Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV) and suffered severe hearing loss. After a seven-year quest that ended this past June, their mother was part of a coalition that helped pass a bill through the House and Senate that requires insurance to pay for children's hearing aids.
Squibbs is due to stay at Children's at least until Sunday.
His lump is shrinking.
His life isn't.
"It will be all right," his mother said.
April 25, 2009

Dear Friends and Family of Regina, Terry, Addison and Landon Squibbs,

As most of you know, Addison was diagnosed this April with Burkitt’s Lymphoma, Group C, because cancer was found in his bone marrow. The Denver Post story on the next page describes the sequence of events. Since this particular cancer is so aggressive, Addison’s treatment during the next 4 to 6 months will be very intense, including drugs injected into his spine. Many people have asked, “What can I do to help?”

Since Addison is in the hospital most of the time, it will be difficult to organize meals for the family. Gift cards for fast food are great, although most of the common restaurants are not near Children’s Hospital. Cards mailed to Addison at the hospital or at home are always welcome. However, I think that what the family needs most is money to pay for those unplanned expenses due to Addison’s illness. One expense is co-pay for every hospital visit. The doctors want Addison to rest at home for only two days a week, but then he needs to return to the hospital for spinal injections and to be monitored. Food at the hospital is expensive for the rest of the family. Another way that we can help, is to pay for the increased phone bill. Regina surpassed her limit in April and needs to increase her minutes. Options for some holistic health treatments help to support the chemotherapy would be great, but are not covered by health insurance. Regina had mentioned that Landon might spend time in CA with relatives this summer, where he could be the center of attention, rather than being at the hospital with his brother. I would like to help cover the expenses of his trip.

Regina has volunteered many hours to help others, including me. When I was recovering from a critical illness this fall, Regina stayed with me two days a week so that my husband Vince could return to work. It is time for me to “Pay it Forward.” I have set up a bank account at Wells Fargo for the “Squibbs Family.” If you would like to support the family with a donation, mail it to the address below. Donations large and small are welcome. When I set up the account, the bank shared that they don’t compile a list of donors. I would greatly appreciate it if you just emailed me so that I can provide Regina with a list. She believes it is very important to send thank you notes, and so do I.

Thank you for your support,

Mary Bartholomew
AGBell Friend of Regina’s
mbart2000@comcast.net 303-755-5183

Donations should be mailed directly to Wells Fargo or stop by any branch, checks should be made out to “Squibbs Family.”

Squibbs Family
Wells Fargo Bank
2150 S. Downing,
Denver, CO 80210

Cards can be sent to Addison:

Addison Squibbs Home Address:
c/o The Children’s Hospital 1193 S. Logan St.
13123 East 16th Ave Denver, CO 80210
Aurora, CO 80045

Care Page updates can be found at http://www.carepages.com. Register, search for BaseballAngel

Monday, March 16, 2009

Pins and Needles (Getting Asked to the Dance)

Perhaps it was fitting for the Gophers to find out this way.
After all, every game they played this year seemed to come down to the final few possessions. Why should the NCAA Selection Show be any different?
After 10 days of hand-wringing and nervous pacing and talking themselves into believing they would go, the Minnesota Women's Basketball team finally got to the day that would give them the answer.
There was plenty of reason to believe the invitation to the dance wouldn't come. All season the mantra was, "Get to 20 wins and we are in". But a dicey finish to the regular season and a loss in their only game in the Big Ten Conference Tournament left Minnesota with just 19 wins and gave an excuse to the NCAA Selection Committee for leaving them out.
I have to admit, when the Maroon and Gold lost at home in the season finale to Illinois, I thought the WNIT was a sure bet unless they made a run in the tournament. When the run didn't happen, I KNEW Minnesota would be in the WNIT with only my heart flicking out the random reassurances that the NCAA's were still a possibility.
Still, hope prevailed amongst the team and, throughout the week of waiting, the prognosticators all seemed to think the Gophers would be one of the last teams to make it in (with the key word being "in").
Finally Monday arrived, with gorgeous weather giving me hope that I've indeed made it through my last 10 degree day for another 7 months and that there might be room on the tournament floor for Minnesota. Now, it was my heart that was leading the charge with my head only squeaking through the fuzziness occasionally to warn me the WNIT was more likely to happen.
Last year, the drama was over early. Minnesota was the very first game they announced. This year, the year of the greatest doubt about whether or not it would happen, the year that begged for decisiveness, the year that the team needed to know early in order to keep a few of those hairs from becoming prematurely gray and prevent months of pages falling off the end of life's calender, the team would have to wait.
And wait.
And wait.
Three regions went by and still Minnesota's name had not popped up. The fourth region was the Gophers' final hope, but this wouldn't be a runaway to start the fourth quarter. Nope, it was going to come down to the last few possessions.
The top half of the bracket went by without the Maroon and Gold and only four matchups remained unrevealed. Realistically, the Gophers only had a chance of being in two of those four matchups; the 6 (seed)-11 game or the 7-10 game.
It wasn't the 6-11 game. Arizona State vs. Georgia popped onto the screen and the cloud of hope I had perched my elbows upon sagged in the middle. I said to the two media members watching with me (and perhaps more so to myself), "It doesn't look to good for the Gophers."
The 3-14 game was revealed and Minnesota was down to their final chance.
My heart was still holding on to the possibility of seeing the Gophers up on that screen while my head was cracking its knuckles and preparing to console my heart with tender pats.
And then it happened.
The second to last game they announced, finally, was tinged with Maroon and Gold.
At 6:45 pm, forty-five minutes after the Selection Show had started, Minnesota's women's basketball team leaped for joy, burst into tears, and screamed wildly in their locker room. Despite everything that said they shouldn't, they did. The Gophers were going to the NCAA Tournament.
Upstairs, we shook our head in amazement and conjectured about what the emotions must have been like for the team as they waited, and waited, and waited. Forty-five minutes later, we found out at the press conference as Head Coach Pam Borton and three players, Emily Fox, Ashley Ellis-Milan, and Brittany McCoy sat glowingly at the table and answered questions. Genuine excitement, tinged with a dose of relief, showed on their faces.
At least that's the way it looked to me, and probably because that's the way I felt. Sure, it might have come down to the last few possessions for this team again, but like it did so many times this year, it came out the way Gopher fans wanted it to.
Next up, the NCAA Tournament! Minnesota will play Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana and I'm lucky enough to get to tag along. Hopefully it will be just as exciting as the selection process. I don't have enough hair to go gray anyway.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Blog-tastic by Corbu Stathes w/Lil Wayne

Is Lil Wayne the mafia of the music world?
I was listening to my XM Radio the other day and five straight songs came on that were either by Lil Wayne or had Lil Wayne in them. The dude is in everything! I think a studio experience might go a little something like this these days.
Producer: Alright, that's a wrap!
Blonde McLegs: Like, what? I thought we were doing pop music, like, and so on, the Iraq.
P: Uh...I think you misunderstood me. That's a wrap. W-R-A-P. Not R-A-P.
BMcL: OMG, how stupid am I? Hahaha.
P: (mumbles) Pretty stupid. Anyways, we got the single and we'll get it all mixed and out....
(Suddenly the door is kicked open! Producer struggles to figure out who the shadowed figure is standing in the doorway. All he can see is a lot of space between the top of the figure's head and the top of the door, and some braids.)
P: Lil...Lil Wayne? Is...is that you?
LW: What the hell are you doing, Producer?
P: Just wrapping up...
BMcL: Wait, what? I thought you said it wasn't rap?
P: Shut up, Blonde McLegs! Sorry Mr. Lil Wayne. We were just getting ready to mix her single, that's all.
LW: And?
P: And...?
LW: And?
P: And...we were going to call you to come lay down some rhymes for us, Mr. Lil Wayne. See? See, I was just about to call you on my phone! (mumbling as he looks around) Where the hell is my phone?
LW: Man, how many times I got to tell you? Nothing gets released in this town without me! Or do you need to be reminded?
P: Oh..Oh, no s-sir. I still got your last reminder right here. (He points to his hand, where written in pen is "Lil Wayne has to be on everything".)
LW: That's what I thought. Now start recording while I bust this out. What's the song about?
P: It's about growing up in Canada.
LW: I can relate to that. I know a guy with a condo, somewhere up in Toronto. Alright, here we go. Play the instrumentals.
(taps his feet and nods his head as he picks up the beat)
LW: Lil Wayne...hehehe...with a candy cane...hehehe...
chillin' on the frozen plains...going to hockey games.
But I got a shorty to keep me warm,
when I head up north of the bor-
der, it's a new world order...hehehe...
with lots of beer and frozen warter.
Catch me in a pair of skates,
lacing up with Blonde McLegs,
and Labatts Blue from the kegs...hehehe...
they put the emphasis on a different consonant,
but we all on the some continent.
I was like, what's this all aboot, eh?
So I came up from the states,
now see, shorty want me to stay,
Sorry Canuck, I'm Lil Wayne...hehehe
Alright! Cut the music. Play it between the second and third stanza and again at the end. Now we got a single.
P: Y-yes, Mr. Lil Wayne. Th-thank you for coming.
LW: Your welcome for the guaranteed hit. I'll be by later for my cash.
LW and Producer do a handshake and the one-armed hug thing.
And that's how Lil Wayne is on every single song right now.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

An Economic Argument Against Laziness

I'm lazy.
Lazy enough that if I was asked to say "I am lazy", I'd agree and then conjugate the words into the opening sentence of this blog. I'm lazy enough to not look up the meaning of conjugate to see if it is indeed the right word to use in that previous sentence, despite the fact this blog is going out for the tens of people to see. I'm lazy enough to let spell check do all my work for my, even though the word might be spelled correctly but not used correctly.
But I think I might have to change that.
Damn economy.
Late fees always seem to be a pain in the butt when it comes to trying to save money. Sometimes the late fee comes because I actually couldn't afford to pay the bill right away, but for the most part it's out of sheer laziness. I let the bill sit around or it gets stuck in the "I'll look at that later" pile that really never gets looked at until a month later.
It's usually around that time I realize I've now ordered my CD of the month, DVD of the month, Time-Life's latest picture book, and have let the car insurance lapse. All because of my refusal to go through the mail.
That is why I have a CD collection featuring the second album's from such one album wonders as Arrested Development and SpaceHog to go with David Hasselhoff's Greatest Hits-the Knight Rider Years. That's why my DVD collection features such crappy movies as Autumn in New York, Never Ending Story II, and Finding Nemo. That's why books like Making Nails, Egypt's Least Interesting Tombs, and The Paris Hilton Story are taking up space on my bookshelf. And that's why I have a court date next month to prove I'm not some degenerate non-insurance-having driver.
How about the time I kept paying $100 a month for a gym membership I never used because I was too lazy to fill out the paperwork to end my membership? Or the thousands of dollars I've given to libraries for my staunch refusal to get off my butt and give them their book back? Or the times I've had to order out for food because I didn't have one single clean dish in the house?Yep, it's all money that I can't afford to lose but that I continue to give out because it's one less thing I'll have to do today.
So I've decided that I am going to stop being lazy and get my act together! No more late fees! Mail will be sorted and dealt with that day! I will make it to the bank! I will not sleep in that extra 10 minutes and I will make myself a lunch! I will....wait a minute...
The economy is stimulated by spending.
Well what do you know! I've been doing my part to keep this country afloat! Now it's your turn to help. Let those reply cards sit around! Let the milk spoil because you didn't want to put it away as soon as you poured it into your cereal and then you forgot you left it out. Let your lover or roommate go to the hospital because the pile of recycling fell over on them and broke their ankle.
No one else is spending money on purpose, so this "accidental" spending is our only shot of keeping our heads above water. So sit down and don't do a thing. Laziness is going to save this country.